Oh so close..

Today was finally the day, the end of the two week wait. I had blood drawn and then proceeded to wait for the phone call with the results.  The night before I had already had my break down and cried on my husbands shoulder. I was so worried about the whole thing. I had already had a feeling it didn't take when I started to get AF but of course there's always that little part of you that has hope.

So the call came and turns out that you can be only a little bit pregnant. My understanding of the beta test of your HCG levels is anything below a 5 is considered negative and above 25 is positive. Well I had a 7, so what the nurse said was that it probably started to take and then didn't quite make it.  In a way it made me feel a little bit better, don't get me wrong it still sucked that it was negative. But the fact that it had started was better than nothing at all. So maybe now my body will say oh yeah I remember what we have to do now.

The plan as it stands is to meet with the doc and talk about changes to the protocol for the next time. And then once my period starts again, we'll start the injections again.

Back to the drawing board

This past saturday would have been 10dpiui, I started to have cramps which were kinda painful in the afternoon. I also noticed when I went to the bathroom that there was some spotting on the TP (I know TMI). And some of it was brown like old blood. So of course I try hard not to totally freak out.
Today (13dpiui) unfortunately it has gone from spotting to a full flow.  I talked to the RE's nurse in the morning and told her I started spotting and she said not to worry just yet because you can have a period early in pregnancy. But since it has changed to more substantial, I'm sure her response would be different.  Wednesday is my "official" day to test which I still will but I think its more a technicality.

What confuses me the most is that I was told when I started the progesterone suppositories that I would need to take a blood test to determine pg because it prevents your flow from starting. Well it obviously doesn't work that way with me!

To quote my husband "it isn't the end of the world and he still loves me no matter". So we'll start the process over again for an IVF cycle. Hopefully the second try doesn't get canceled or changed like our first time.

Every little twinge

I am currently 6dptIUI (days past transfer of IUI). It is really hard to not think about how things are "cooking" inside me and whether it'll be positive or negative, etc.  One thing about me is that I'm a planner. I like to plan ahead and at least have a general idea of whats going on. Right now though is driving me crazy with not being able to plan ahead because obviously if it is positive that would affect alot of future things.

So I have been trying to keep busy but at work the thoughts of worrying tend to sneak in. This coming weekend I'm traveling to my parents house to visit and to bring my son back since he is spending the week at their house during spring break. That will be a nice distraction.

Here's to not driving myself crazy!

So begins the 2WW

Wednesday morning at 9:30am we went in for our IUI procedure! For those of you who don't know an IUI is where the sperm is deposited into the vagina thru a catheter aka Turkey Baster.  Of course there is more to it since the sperm is put through a "wash" to pick out the best guys. Hubby's did well there were 15+ million and motility of 68%. The nurse said they usually want at least 5-10 million and 50% motility.

When I went for the scan the monday before there was a 4 follicles that were a good size. So I asked the nurse on turkey baster day, how do they know that the trigger shot (ovidrel) worked and that I've ovulated. She said they didn't know for sure, isn't that odd that with all the technology these days that they don't know for sure.  I kinda wish now that they would have done another internal sonogram prior to the IUI to check the sizes of the follicles. Would that tell you if they were "good to go" I don't know.

We have done two IUI's in the past and they (obviously) didn't work. But that was also using an opk testing kit and my positives were always a little off. I used the digital smiley face one and sometimes I wouldn't see the smiley face at all but there would be a slight line when you pulled out the stick. Other times I would get it the night before but not the next morning. It was frustrating to say the least.  Its always a wonder to me that the hubby will tell me to just relax about it, etc. Which I think is almost impossible for the woman given all the sticks you have to pee on, temps to take, mucus to check throughout the day. It can drive a woman crazy! 

So the hubby and I are remaining cautiously optimistic about this cycle. Hopefully with this cycle being driven by meds and not random pee stick results, the timing is better. And potential multiple eggs will have more chances of getting fertilized.

Here's to hoping!

Trigger Day..

Another scan and draw appointment this morning. Turns out that I have 2 good sized follies on both ovaries. I believe the nurse said they were all between 17-19. I really should start taking notes, they throw so much information at you, its hard to catch it all.
So they decided that this evening I will give myself the two trigger injections of ovidrel at 9:30pm. And then at 9:30am on wednesday morning they will do the IUI.
I'm being really hopeful at this point, since the follies are a good size and there are several (just not enough for IVF). So I will continue to keep my fingers and toes crossed.

Mr. Cheerleader!

Last friday I went for a scan & draw appt to see where we were at with this IVF cycle, my hubby had the day off so he went with me. Well the nurse had a hard time identifying the separate follicles. And turned out that they weren't enough follies and they weren't growing like they were supposed to be at this point. The nurse asked me if I had gotten the message on wednesday to lower the lupron from 10 to 5. This was a surprise to me, they called my cell phone and sure enough I had the message on their but my phone doesn't beep to tell me that there's a message. Very frustrating.  So she said she'd discuss with the doc about what to do but that her suggestion would be to convert from an IVF to an injectables IUI cycle. 
I was surprised because I was thinking all along that my body would respond well to the medication. We left the docs and as soon as we were in the car my hubby turned into Mr. Cheerleader. He just knew without my saying anything to him that I needed the pep talk. He started saying how this was good at least we were wasting our 2 chances at IVF on a bad cycle. And know the doctor knew how I responded to the medication so next time it would be better.  At that point it reinforced why I loved him so much. I was so glad that he happened to come to this appt with me.

That afternoon I got a call from the nurse and the doctor suggested to convert the cycle or cancel it altogether. We decided to convert, why waste all the stabbings for nothing.